Gridiron Fanatics

In honor of Plaxico Burress’ guilty plea and subsequent two year jail sentence gridironfanatics.com would like to introduce to the world wide web the “National Felon Fantasy League.” A new kind of fantasy football league where points are not awarded for personal accolades on the field but rather for the stupid, idiotic, illegal things that your favorite players can not seem to stop doing.

Just think about how this game will change your life. Pretend you are a NY Giants fan last year and your team is cruising in the standings looking prime to repeat as Super Bowl Champs, when along comes a report that your star wide receiver was shot in the leg last night. First reaction is “oh, no! I hope he is going to be ok.” But as the story starts to develop it turns out your star wide receiver was the Lee Harvey Oswald in this case. He shot himself in the leg and is now facing federal gun charges. Your thoughts turn from sympathy to anger as this r-tard just cost your favorite team their season. But what if you had Cheddar Plax on your “Felon” team? You would be ecstatic as he would have just secured the league trophy for you.

“Cheddar Plax’s” latest stunt was so stupid I am actually going to make him honorary commissioner of the league:

Meet your commish...Cheddar Plax

Look if these players are not going to stop committing all these crimes (watch pacman jones make it rain) then why don’t we start to have a little fun with it? Something good ought to come out of Tank Johnson having a small artillery.

The National Felon Fantasy League will work slightly different than your standard fantasy football league. Instead of playing against a different opponent week to week, fantasy points will be accumulated over the course of a season with the objective of scoring the most total points. Players will score points based on the following categories:

- Felonies = 30 pts
- Sexual Assault = 15 pts
- Physical Assault = 10 pts
- DUI = 5 pts
- Drug possesion = 5 pts
- Suspension for testing positive for an illegal substance = 4 pts
- Fined for any violation of team rules = 3pts
- Any other Misdemeanors = 2 pts
- Fined for any action during a game = 2pts
- Fighting a teammate resulting in a suspension = 2 pts/game
- Any other suspension = 1 pt/game

Teams will consist of 10 players and can be filled with players from any position. There is a waiver wire in place with a max of 2 waiver wire moves that can be made per week unless a player on your roster is injured during the week. In which case you may drop that player and pick up someone off of waivers to fill his roster spot immediately. This will not count against your two allotted waiver wire moves for that week either. However, this might not be the best move to make as I would love to have Chris Henry on my team with a couple weeks of free time on his hands. Who knows what minor he could be seen with.

Now that you know how the league will work it is time to talk a little strategy. When drafting your team or, “cell mates” in this case, do you go for the home run and try to draft the next Michael Vick or Dante Stallworth? Both of whom would have scored major points in the National Felon Fantasy League and single handedly brought home the championship. Or do you go with the slow and steady approach and draft players like Ed Reed and Chad Johnson because you know there is a 99.9% chance they will get fined during the season?

Let’s see what our GM’s did when selecting their teams during the league draft which was conducted earlier this week with the following order:

Team #1 – Eli and Peyton’s Anal Contraband Smugglers
Team #2 – Oz
Team #3 – Jailbait Jerkers
Team #4 – The Bengals
Team #5 – Cell Block D

If I were to give out grades for this draft I think all the teams would get an A but my team, Cell Block D, is bound to have a few of it’s players wind up on a police blotter somewhere. There is no way that all of these guys can stay out of trouble during the course of the NFL season.

It is going to be a fun and exciting innagural season for the National Felon Fantasy League. You can follow all of the action by bookmarking this link National Felon Fantasy League.

Check back often as the stats and standings will be updated regularly.